“A Short and Easy Method with the Mormonites.” Anti-Socialist Gazette (Chester) no. 8 (1 May 1842): 142.
As but few will have seen that blasphemous parody on Holy Writ, the Book of Mormon we give a few extracts, that they may be enabled to form a judgment of its general character. The copy in our possession, which is of the last edition, contains 643 closely printed pages 12 mo. The Book of Mormon professes to be translated by Divine Inspiration. The sacred Scriptures as contained in the Bible, are in the original Divinely inspired, but the translation, although essentially correct, is the work of fallible men, and not of Divine inspiration. Therefore, when the concoctors of the Mormion imposture quote the Sacred Books to keep up even the appearance of consistency in the delusion, they should have varied the wording of the translation. But strange to say these otherwise clever cheats have entirely overlooked this, and copied our uninspired translation, word for word, throughout entire chapters! This of itself exposes the deception most completely. We defy them to meet this: and we recommend every plain working man, who is not equal to a continuous course of argument with these wily and plausible deceivers, to take up this single point against them, and insist upon its being answered. How is it, ask them, that their Divinely inspired translation of the Sacred Prophecies should be word for word the same as our uninspired translation? Press this home upon them, and you put them to confusion at once. They have copied even the trifling critical errors that are admitted to have crept into our English renderings, yet have the unblushing effrontery to tell us their entire Book and its translation are of Divine origin!
The absurd and blasphemous parodies that abound in this wretched production are, in many instances, of the most unmeaning and ignorant description. Nor can we do better in refutation of the book, than quote the book itself. The extracts which we give below are, as will be seen, a parody on Noah and the ark. But as unlike the strength and sublimity of the Bible as it is possible for composition to be. The many times repeated in applicable figure of “a dish,” will strike the most careless reader as being ridiculous in the extreme. Indeed, to be able rightly to estimate it, we would recommend a perusal, at the same time, of the description given of the ark in the 6th chap. of Genesis, verses 14, 15, and 16.
“AND the Lord said, go to work and build, after the manner of barges which ye have hitherto built. And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did go to work, and also his brethren, and built barges after the manner which they had built, according to the instructions of the Lord. And they were small, and they were light upon the water, even like unto the lightness of a fowl upon the water; and they were built after a manner that they were exceeding tight, even that they would hold water like unto a dish; and the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the sides thereof were tight like unto a dish; and the ends thereof were peaked; and the top thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the length thereof was the length of a tree; and the door thereof, when it was shut, was tight like unto a dish. And it came to pass that the brother of Jared cried unto the Lord, saying, O Lord, I have performed the work which thou hast commanded me, and I have made the barges according as thou hast directed me. And behold, O Lord, in them there is no light, whither shall we steer. And also we shall perish, for in them we cannot breathe, save it is the air which is in them; therefore we shall perish. And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared, behold, thou shalt make a hole in the top therof, and also in the bottom thereof; and when thou shalt suffer for air, thou shalt unstop the hole thereof, and receive air. And if it so be that the water come in upon thee, behold, ye shall stop the hole thereof, that ye may not perish in the flood. And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did so, according as the Lord and commanded. And he cried unto the Lord, saying, O Lord, behold, I have done even as thou hast commanded me; and I have prepared the vessels for my people, and behold, there is no light in them. Behold, O Lord, wilt than suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness? And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared, what will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels? For behold, ye cannot have windows, for they will be dashed in pieces; neither shall ye take fire with you, for ye shall not go by the light of fire; for behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the rains and the floods have I sent forth. And behold, I prepare you against these things; for howbeit, ye cannot cross this great deep, save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you, that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?
“And it came to pass that the brother of Jared, (now the number of the vessels which had been prepared, was eight,) went forth unto the mount, which they called the mount Shelem, because of its exceeding height, and did moulten out of a rock sixteen small stones; and they were white and clear, even as transparent glass; and he did carry them in his hands upon the top of the mount, and cried again unto the Lord, saying, O Lord, thou hast said that we must be encompassed about by the floods. Now behold, O Lord, and do not be angry with thy servant because of his weakness before thee; for we know that thou art holy, and dwellest in the heavens; and that we are unworthy before thee; because of the fall, our natures have become evil continually; nevertheless, O Lord, thou hast given us a commandment that we must call upon thee, that from thee we may receive according to our desires. Behold, O Lord, thou hast smitten us because of our iniquity, and hast driven us forth, and for this many years we have been in the wilderness; nevertheless, thou hast been merciful unto us. O Lord, look upon me in pity, and turn away thine anger from this thy people, and suffer not that they shall go forth across this raging deep in darkness, but behold these things which I have moulten out of the rock. And I know, O Lord, that thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man; therefore touch these stones, O Lord, with thy finger, and prepare them that they may shine forth in darkness; and they shall shine forth unto us in the vessels which we have prepared, that we may have light while we shall cross the sea. Behold, O Lord, thou canst do this. We know that thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of men. And it came to pass that when the brother of Jared had said these words, behold, the Lord stretched forth his hand and touched the stones, one by one, with his finger; and the veil was taken from off the eyes of the brother of Jared, and he saw the finger of the Lord; and it was as the finger of a man, like unto flesh and blood; and the brother of Jared fell down before the Lord, for he was struck with fear.